Will Rogers, 113. I am afraid to say it but, the lights are on but no one is at home. You have to touch them all over before they respond. ", 177. humphr1es , terren in Virginia Report, I would agree with you but then we would both be wrong, captainawesome1983 , ResoluteSupportMedia Report, randolotapus , James Samsonow Report, My Grandad used this all the time (fortunately not to me, well not to my face anyway), One of my personal favorites:"They only got two brain cells and both of them are fighting for third place. To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. For Men. "I'm guessing you weren't burdened with an overabundance of schooling. Great. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Because youve got my interest. 100 Funny and Witty Quotations About Age and Getting Older "You can be whatever you want; however, in your case you should probably aim low." Not everyone is a natural-born comedian, but that doesnt mean you cant add a splash of humor and fun to your conversations. So how do you know if people are trying to subtly (or not so subtly) insult your smarts? Yours is a face that only a mother and a friend like me could love. I like George Carlin's quote : Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. This is why some people appear bright until they speak. Steven Wright, 9. Oh, so you fainted from the excitement of getting a text from me? From hes a little thin on top, to allude to someones thinning hair, to Im letting you go when you need to fire an employee, euphemisms can seem like a great way to couch harsh comments in gentler terms. Ugliness can be fixed, stupidity is forever., 55. ", 42. 2) "I expected nothing, but I'm still disappointed" Sheesh, way to have faith in someone. Admit it, sometimes those little comments are funny, especially if its a close friend or family member who shares your type of humor. Talking about a normal funny person "Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?" Im not insulting you. So much for allowing the stream of knowledge to rain down on you. Heres what to say when someone is being a smartass and you found it annoying: Sometimes the best response is to say nothing and to ignore them. 02 Don't use any ad hominem remarks. See? "If youre waiting for me to give a crap, you better pack a lunch. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Put a little red dot on your finger and tell someone you got bit by a squirrel. I wanted you to know its not my birthday yet, my birthday is [ ]. But all mine ever says is goodbye." "Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Im sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. And those flashing lights on top of your car look ridiculous. They believe they are above other people, and love belittling. ", 103. In this ultimate toolbox, youll learn the most essential skills to developing self-improvement. Usually, it ends up digging a grave and can turn into a situation where no one likes the person, and he/she becomes ostracized from the social group. Steven Wright, 116. Robertas, nicknamed the Comma Inquisitor by friends, is a Bored Panda writer and content creator. I can explain it again, if you'd like, but I can't understand for you. If you were a vegetable, youd be a cutecumber. Just remember that you dont want to come across as too clingy. Whoever told you to be yourself gave you really bad advice [Read: Ready to charm? Shut your mouth when youre talking to me., 64. Please check link and try again. 50 Funny Insults To Get On People's Nerves - PsyCat Games Max Kauffmann, 127. "The stuff you heard about me is a lie. These euphemisms telling people they are stupid, as suggested by various Reddit users, will cut straight to the chase. "My silence doesn't mean I agree with you. "Understimate me. If you were a library book, Id check you out. This behavior can sometimes be humorous, but often, it is very embarrassing and frustrating when these digs are taken. Id agree with you but then wed both be wrong., 85. Do you often run out of things to say or feel awkward and self-conscious in social situations? A friend like you is like a good bra: supportive, comfortable, hard to find, uplifting, and always close to my heart! We dont always make life easy for ourselves, but isnt it better to be thorough sometimes? "You play the victim. Check out these 140 one-liners for extra funniness! 2. No. - She's a walking encyclopaedia (Very knowledgeable) Other Ways to Say: Stupid Dump Until then, Im glad we have each other. "I don't keep secrets, I just keep people out of my business. Well, wonder no more! (If you take your hat off entirely when greeting someone, that's known as hatting .) Well at least your mom thinks youre pretty., 31. And keep your eyes and ears peeled. Its these harrowing situations that wake you out of a sound sleep suddenly fresh with dozens of snappy one-liners you wish you would have said. "Theres a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. Sometimes I'm asleep. "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. Is someone being a total dick and youre at a loss for what to say? Stand in the middle of the sidewalk and swing a hula hoop while waving at people as they pass by. 25 Ways to Highlight Your Skills Despite Lack of Relevant Job Experience, 30 Responses You Should Send to a Guy that Calls You Hot Over Text, Level Up Your Event with 190+ Engaging Beach Ball Icebreaker Questions, 350+ Single Word Prompts to Ignite Your Writing Session, Elevate Your Gatherings with 60+ Paranoia Drinking Game Questions, Explore 125+ Couple Drinking Game Questions for a Night of Fun, Keep Yourself Cool: 23 Witty Responses When a Guy Calls You Weird. I would love to insult you, but I wouldnt do as well as nature did, 50. Indy100 is here to help. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?, 18. Your account is not active. A Reddit user by the name of u/lientubay asked the world What's the best euphemism for telling people that they're stupid? More than 60 thousand people had apparently pondered the same question and the thread skyrocketed. or Arlo Guthrie: sittin'' on the Group W bench. Thanks for the compliment [Read: 20 Smart medieval insults in English that should make a comeback], 48. "If life gives you lemons, then be thankful for it. You do you! I just googled Funny things to write in a text. I typed Bitch into my GPS and guess what? He spent nearly three years writing about all things Wi-Fi, eventually being picked up by Bored Panda. A dog is a bitch, dogs bark. Nobody plans a murder out loud. Im in your driveway., 47. I hope you stay there. Group assignments make me understand why Batman works alone. I dont wish the best for you, nor do I want to find someone like you. Not everyone has good taste., 7. "They didn't get it. Patrick Murray, 166. Its going to be a while., 44. "Yeah, I'm a pacifist. Following Prigozhin's armed rebellion many have been wondering what is next for his Wagner Group. I barely take suggestions. ", 41. Bark is on tree, trees are in nature. Hold it in. Here are some hilarious one-liners and funny quotes to toss into your conversations. Tread carefully thoughon the other end of the spectrum, many therapists warn that sarcasm could significantly impair relationships. If I could rearrange the alphabet Id put U and I together. Are you from Tennessee? This is actual very true and not only for idiots but everyone me including. 1. Whether youre trying to be more witty, flirty, or be seen as an amateur comedian, making people laugh is a social superpower. "I don't go crazy. 1) "The bar was the cement, and you brought a shovel" A shovel is better to dig up dirt or sand, not cement. Ahh yes, its better to be silent and thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt. "We always hold hands. 100 Positivity-Boosting Compliments - Verywell Mind Dont judge. This behavior isnt the way to shine in the eyes of others. How to be witty and win anyone over]. Light travels faster than sound. P. J. ORourke, 118. 140 Funny Things to Say In ANY Situation Laughter is a social superpower. Happy birthday to my best friend! [Hat Tip] Be the strong, silent type and forgo words entirely with an elegant tip of your hat. Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. A broken drumyou cant beat it! Cancel my subscription because I dont need your issues., 14. But then I'll have to explain later. Synonyms for IDIOT: moron, stupid, dummy, lunatic, prat, loser, imbecile, fool; Antonyms of IDIOT: genius, brain, intellect, thinker, sage, intellectual, wizard, whiz 25 Sassy Comebacks For When Someone Is Being a Smartass Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? Robin Williams, Actor, 34. 20 euphemisms people can use to insult your intelligence You have no idea what youve done! ", 105. "My circle is so small, I almost cut myself off. ", 170. Logan Pearsall Smith. A sense of humor is being able to laugh at something that would actually make you mad if it happened to you. Ill be poor., 16. "Life is like a roller coaster, and Im about to throw up." The Definitive Guide to Facial Expressions, Funny Things to Say on a Valentine's Card, Funny Things to Say When Someone Doesn't Text Back, Random Things to Say and Weird Things to Say, Key Takeaways: Make People Laugh by Saying Funny Things. Well done, you managed to deliver the perfect insult or smartass line. Join the news democracyWhere your votes decide the Top 100, Dont get caught out by these sneaky insults. One says to the other: Do these genes make me look fat?. "If youve never met the devil in the road of life, its because youre both heading in the same direction." Teapots are designed to hold boiling water; chocolate is designed to melt in your mouth. In all seriousness though, there's even some scientific merit to such claims. 20. 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